Personal Attention

Ok, in a very large family, it can be difficult to make sure that each child gets the personal attention they need. We have a few strategies that can help though:

1. Know their signals. I have one child who goes silent when she is feeling like life is overwhelming. Another one gets rebellious. A boy gets whiney. Another boy gets very distracted, while a third will become contentious. Some kids will become impossible to ignore when they feel neglected or have a problem that needs some extra attention, others will go invisible. If you know your child, then you can pick up on their unspoken needs.

2. Weekly, or even monthly interviews with the kids can be a good way to get a bit of individual time with them, to check up on them in a personal way, or to take the time to teach them something that is not appropriate in public. Our kids all just love that time. Sunday afternoons are perfect for this. This is time where you can tell a girl who is growing up that if she treats a neighbor boy the same way she treats her brother that he might misinterpret her actions. When you can discuss a behavior pattern with a child and help them figure out what it means. When they can confide in you if something important needs telling.

3. You cannot always take personal time out during the busy day, but you can involve children in activities, and if one child needs special care, other children can be involved in that care so they feel part of it, and do not feel like they have become invisible because one child needs more hands on care.

If you have tips or strategies to share, please email them in!

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