Special Needs

It is sort of ironic that most small families are overwhelmed at the idea of dealing with special needs, or a large family either one, and the thought of combining the two is just unthinkable. Yet most large families that I associate with include at least one if not more, special needs.

In actuality, parents of many children are often more qualified and more capable of dealing with special needs. First, they know that each child is unique anyway, and they have a system for managing a home with lots of things going on. Second, they are more willing to fit in just one more thing, and to adapt to the needs of another person. Kind of sad that most children sitting waiting in our foster system have "would do better in a single child family or small family" written on their case file - the case manager has already decided to eliminate the most qualified and willing parents from their roster.

My experience with special needs comes from four of my children:

One with fetal drug effect, which has improved with time, but which gave us some emotional challenges, and still does for her at times.

One with ADD, very distractible, but utterly brilliant.

One with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. We dealt with a central line, regular meds, limitations, and some other developmental issues unrelated to the Leukemia.

One with a severe form of dwarfism, who died just after birth. I'd have given anything to raise her, problems and all. I know the hole that a child's absence leaves when they have special needs, and how that hole can be larger and different than that left by the average child.

My experience is still very limited. I have learned so much from dealing with the unusual things in our home though. They have taught me much more about myself and what I am capable of than the expected things.

I think I dealt with these issues and coped better BECAUSE I have lots of kids. It was easier to make exceptions for one, because I already knew that each child was unique and needed individual solutions. It was easier to develop a routine to handle the new demands, because I had been required to develop routines just to handle the daily demands of a large family.

I do not regret the unusual needs in our home. I often have to pray to find ways to cope with them, but I know myself to be more capable because of them.

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/ourquiverfull/ - Large family coping with medical needs with one of their children.